MY FABULOUS 40th BIRTHDAY

Connection: My Theme for My Forties

2011-03-08T11:34:00.008-05:00

OK. So, I'm 40 already. But I think I may still reserve the right to blog when I have a thing or two on my mind.

One thing I forgot to tell you about is something I announced at my birthday dinner back in October: my theme for my forties. That's right, this next decade of mine is going to have a theme. And it is...CONNECTION.

I started thinking about it last spring, when the word "connection" seemed to be in front of me wherever I went. At my job at a media company, we questioned who was king these days - was it content? Consumers? Or maybe it was all about connection. On Facebook, I was making new connections daily. My youngest listened to "Barbie's Diamond Castle" song "Connected" over and over. Two friends who tried online dating services seemed to be making connections that were going to go the distance (two weddings to go to this summer!) And one day, when I wandered into an old church down in the financial district, I found a piece of paper in the back of the pew - it was called a "connection card."

As human beings we seem to long to connect -- with friends, with job contacts, with pets, with a soulmate, with God. You hear about the importance of touch in human development - that babies who live in orphanages with bottles propped in the crib rails and no one to cradle them experience a host of psychological consequences. We need to connect physically - a hug, a pat on the head, a kiss -- but we long for emotional connection too.

As I enter my fifth decade, I'm craving connection. I don't know about you, but over the past decade, I've been so busy - ya'know, creating life and all, changing diapers, getting kids into school, traveling for work, buying Ikea furniture, cursing broken Ikea furniture, helping with homework, selling a home, buying a home, moving, going to dentist appointments that beget more dentist appointments (admitting that I don't floss my kids' teeth - I can barely get to my own), going to meeting after meeting, rushing to school, etc. -- that there really hasn't been a lot of time leftover for nurturing relationships.

What I really miss is the presence of female friends.

Gone are the days of the best friend that I met on my bike at the corner, and played with all day, and stayed for dinner, and begged our moms for a sleepover.

There's no girl next-door to string a tin can across the driveway and see if it really works as a telephone...eventually just talking loud enough to span the twelve feet of gravel in between.

There are no college roommates - five girls and five closets full of clothes in one house -- ready with a shoulder to cry on and a pint of ice cream or a bottle of Jim Beam, whichever the occasion warrants.

I know my friends are out there - I've recently emailed or talked on the phone with all three camps above: the play-all-day friend, the girl-next-door, the college roommates. And I've been fortunate to make new friends along the way. But still...

I feel lonely sometimes.

Everybody's still there. And more have popped up. At school. At work. In the neighborhood. And it's nice knowing they're there - but it's kind of like it's nice knowing New York City is there when you live in the suburbs and rarely make the trek in.

I want to do more than have friends, I want to be a friend. I want to enjoy wine together, bond over chaperoning kids' activities, laugh at the absurdities of life, help each other out, hang out in a house not fit for company, and generally be there in good times and bad.

Connection.

The Birthday Came and Went, But I'm Still Blogging

2010-11-07T21:12:00.004-05:00

The birthday came and went, but I still have a few things I want to say, so I'm going to keep up My Fabulous 40th Birthday until the end of the year.

40 turned out to be my best birthday yet. The work surprise party, cards and calls, flowers, presents, and a wonderful birthday dinner at our local favorite, Peri Ela, with family and a few friends made me feel great. All the attention made me feel like a celebrity for a day, and got me wondering how celebrities can stand all that attention day in and day out. Seriously, one day is fantastic for your ego; any more than that and I think it would explode.

I was really touched by the generosity and thoughtfulness bestowed upon me and made me re-commit to doing a better job of paying that forward. I also learned that you should really tape your card on a present, or write your name right on the wrapping paper, because like they say on the airplane, "items may shift" during the trip from the restaurant to home.

My parents gave me some great gifts: first of all, they sang me a funny, sweet, and very well-harmonized duet at dinner; a beautiful gold bracelet with an inscription; and a Shutterfly photo album of "my first 40 years" including great old photos that my mother painstakingly (believe me)scanned onto the computer. My husband gave me a wonderful toast and the kids made cards and gave me a pack of mini playing cards and a book of stickers that all personalized with "Kristen."

And the first week of being 40 has been off to a great start. Today, was another 40th -- the 40th Anniversary of the New York City Marathon. Our friend, Michael O'Brien, was running, so we headed over to 5th Avenue to see if we could cheer him on. Unlike other major sporting events, it's remarkable just how close to the action you can get. We stood on the sidelines with the kids, cheering on everyone who went by, yelling out names if people had written them on their shirts. The sheer volume of runners was incredible (over 43,000 people), but their individuality shined through.

New York Road Runners has an advertising campaign running right now - the gist of it is that "everyone has a story," and as I stood cheering, clapping, and keeping an eye out for Mike, I wondered, What's bald, courageous-looking Julie's story? What's the father-son MMRF team's story? What's the story behind the good-looking young man with two prosthetic legs, now walking slowly at mile 23, with two friends or maybe brothers at either side of him? What's the story with the guy dressed up in the KISS outfit? Or the matador outfit?

None of us saw Mike, but thankfully he saw us! He ran over and we all cheered and hollered and then he was off! Mike's story? His wife had their third little girl just over a week ago...and he's turning 40 this month.

The Big 4-Oh! is Finally Here!

2010-10-28T05:54:00.003-04:00

And so the big day arrives...not with a bang, but with a whimper. I woke up at 4 a.m. feeling not fabulous as much as fatigued, flu-ish, and fatter.

Despite all my best efforts to see the fab side of forty, I have to admit the depression rolled in earlier this week, compounded by the fact that I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Sunday and the post nasal drip is making me feel perpetually nauseous. On Tuesday, I made the depression worse when retail therapy backfired in the form of the dreaded dressing room three way mirror and the fact that in that entire giant department store, all I could walk away with was one dress that kind-of fit. And they don't do alterations.

But you know me, I believe that you are in charge of your own happiness, so let's look at the bright side -- all the really great things that have already happened for my 40th birthday (and it's only 5 a.m.!)

#1. My Boss and Co-Workers Threw a Surprise Party for Me Last Week. Last Wednesday, my boss asked me to have drinks with her and a rather important person. Imagine my surprise when we walked to the back of the lounge and 10 co-workers yelled...what else? "Surprise!" Not only were there drinks, a table was set for dinner, and there were fun T-shirts for everyone, riffing on this blog. (The rather important person, by the way, was not there.) The piece de resistance was THE JAR. A beautiful etched jar from Anthropologie was filled with envelopes in fall shades of burgundy, crimson, orange, silver, and gold. Inside each envelope was a memory of me shared by a colleague - a funny moment at a sales meeting, a serious one at a memorial service, dancing in the back of a conference trying to make the speaker laugh, an outrageous flight across country. They went around the table, reading each other's entries -- I couldn't have been more touched.

Then, after most of the group departed, a small late night crew remained and I drank ridiculous amounts of white wine, hiccupped my way home, and woke up the next morning feeling greatly appreciated yet physically ill.

#2. Bobbi Brown.
After the discouraging three-way mirror experience on Tuesday, I made my way back to the main floor and went directly to the Bobbi Brown counter and said to the woman there, "Would you please do my makeup and I promise I'll buy something?" So, she did a fantastic job, glamming me up and by the end, I felt better. In fact, I felt better than better, I felt pretty. And I bought $100 worth of makeup.

#3. Nice Drycleaner Lady.
I couldn't bring the "it kind-of fits" dress to the cleaners until last night (and of course, I want to wear it on Friday night), but the nice lady at the drycleaners, said "No problem. You're my longtime customer and I do it for you." She declared the dress elegant and said I looked pretty, which is very kind to say to someone with a runny nose.

#4. Afrin.
What would I do without it? It has propped me up all week, through work meetings, a benefit, Mom's Night Out, homework, school interviews, Curriculum Night, and it will get me through my 40th Birthday today.

#5. Flowers From My Godmother.
Last night, beautiful flowers arrived from Ilene, Pattie, and Dusty the dog. Besides my parents, and depending on the day, the kids, nobody loves me as much as my godmother...and she always lets me know.

#6. Facebook Message from 6th Grade Crush.
No kidding. The hottie of the 1981 Sixth Grade sent me a message on Facebook wishing me a Happy Birthday. And you want to know how much cooler I am now than I was then? I haven't even written him back yet.

So...that's where we are, and still the rest of the day ahead of me! Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday!

Back-to-Back 40ths Make Me Feel 80

2010-10-11T20:52:00.004-04:00

We went to two 40th Birthday parties over the weekend and the cumulative effect of back-to-back celebrations left me feeling about 80.

Friday evening's soiree was the epitome of downtown cool, with about 30 people at Shorty's 32 in the heart of SoHo. The birthday girl, Stafford, looked fabulous in a black leather trimmed sheath and killer heels, and every single one of her girlfriends made 40 look fantastic. It was fun talking to friends of hers that I'd heard about for years, but never met.

After several terrific toasts at the end of the night, it was time for clubbing! Yes, me, clubbing. We all loaded into a waiting coach where we chatted and sipped plastic flutes of champagne until we arrived at the meatpacking district, where we descended into the dark, basement-level club en masse. I stumbled in - was it the high heels? the darkness? the Champagne? -- and took it all in. I can't say it was my scene, but the birthday girl was there to dance and dance she did!

We got home at 2 a.m.! I can't tell you the last time that happened. Needless to say, Saturday morning was not my finest hour, but after a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich and the kids wanting to know why I got to drink Coca Cola in the morning, I enjoyed the beautiful sunny day...and at 6 o'clock, we geared up for round 2.

Out we went to New Jersey, to the next birthday girl's (Suzanne's) bash. Aside from a girl with the same birthday (October 8), the other thing this party had in common with the one the night before was a doting husband who had attended to every detail. There was a DJ who had been carefully instructed to play all the birthday girl's favorite tunes, a bartender, a tent, terrific caterers with really tasty food, and TONS of friends and family.

Suzanne's kids were there for the beginning of the party, "We're only staying for a little while," her son told me. I also learned that his favorite movie is Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeaquel, his favorite baseball team is the Yankees, and he told me the names of all of his best friends. I was so glad to see him. I also caught up with Suzanne's mom, who reminisced about dropping her daughter off at college and feeling that I was a nice girl to leave her with...I was sort of glowing in that until she added, "Can you believe that was 20 years ago?" Ugh. Way to rub it in, Mrs. D.

Suzanne - who always looks fabulous - didn't disappoint in a pretty dress with ruffled shoulders. She is one of my funniest friends and as usual, she had me in stitches. She was making fun of me (and my Boggle habit)at the time - all the better.

I was honored to be included in both celebrations. Honored, but EXHAUSTED. I capped off the weekend by hitting the hay at 8 p.m. and sleeping for 10 hours straight. By morning, I no longer looked 80, just a good almost-40.

Married for 1/4 of My Life

2010-09-16T18:41:00.003-04:00

This month I celebrated my 10th Wedding Anniversary - which means I've been married for a quarter of my lifetime. I can't believe our wedding day - blessedly breezy and sunny after a near disastrous Nor'Easter threatened to wash out our outdoor reception - was ten years ago. And what has happened since we said our "I do's" at St. Mary's by the Sea?

- Two beautiful daughters
- Great careers
- A warm, happy home
- Countless fun times with family and friends

It's intriguing to think what the next ten years will bring - teenagers, travels, and surely trials and tribulations, but it is certainly an adventure I'm looking forward to!

Happy Tenth Anniversary, Brooke!

This Makes Me Feel Much Younger

2010-09-09T17:39:00.003-04:00

Although...there are some days when I'm feeling pretty rickety.

40th Birthday at "The End"

2010-08-16T16:35:00.003-04:00

Is your 40th Birthday the end? The beginning? Or maybe it's the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end? At any rate, it struck me as apropos that this weekend's 40th birthday bash was held at "The End" of Long Island: Montauk.

The party was in celebration of two friends turning 40 and with the small exception of a pre-party debate about what "casual summer cocktail attire" meant, it was a whole lot of fun. The guys could not have had a better night or a more spectacular spot. The weather was gorgeous -- blue skies giving way to a stripey sunset, a warm day turning into a cool, but not cold, night. And "The End" it was -- we were perched high above the ocean on a jagged cliff.

I need not have worried about the dress code - once we were there, it was all about connecting with old friends. Four bars were set up, the hors d'ouevres never stopped, and a fantastic Rolling Stones cover band played all night. With maybe 300 people in attendance, there were surprises around every corner - and a few people I saw from a distance and never had the chance to talk to.

We carpooled there with six other people; 20 people chartered a bus to drive them from their neighborhood; it was an adventure. The party was loaded with style - chandeliers twinkling from the trees, a roaring outdoor fireplace, but it also felt utterly casual and super-relaxed.

The party was a great reminder of beginnings that began a long time ago -- namely decades-long friendships -- but also of all the new beginnings -- kids, jobs, moves, friendships -- starting right now.

The End.

Little Things That Bug Me

2010-08-04T18:54:00.004-04:00

After 40 years on the planet, I've come to realize what bugs me. And even more so, I've come to realize what bugs me consistently -- not the one-time annoyances, the full-fledged pet peeves. Here they are:

1. Words spelled wrong on purpose. This would include stores like "Kids Korner" or even better, "Kidz Korner." (I wrote this first, then took a stab in the dark that there might actually be an image for Kidz Korner and sure enough, this one is from www.kidzkorner.ca)

2. Phone numbers that include words in them. It may seem like an easy way to remember a phone number, but I recently found myself trying to dial 82-HORSE, and it wasn't easy. Worse still is when you're trying to call from a BlackBerry - it doesn't work that way. I've been stymied more than once when I'm prompted to "please enter the first three letters of the last name of the party you are calling." Hmmm...maybe there's potential for an app there.

3. Mommy. I don't want to be called Mommy by anyone other than my children, who are under 10, and even they rarely call me Mommy. Examples of this include, "Mommy & Me," "Mommy-time," "She's very happy doing the Mommy-thing."

4. Sales associates who stick to you like Glue. You are making me uncomfortable! I'm not going to steal anything and I'm far less likely to buy anything if you're on top of me. And I do not believe you when you say that the pants that are two sizes too tight look cute on me.

5. Cute. Not big on this word; must be used with great restraint.

6. Whining. But you all already know that. And for the record, this does not count as whining.

Re-Invention

2010-08-03T13:15:00.006-04:00

It's about this time in life when some people's (I'm not naming any names) thoughts start drifting towards re-inventions, what-if's. "What if we left the city and moved to the country?" "What if I quit the law firm and became a teacher?" "How about if I go to cooking school and open a restaurant?"

We're fueled by success stories -- Ina Garten quitting her energy policy job at the White House to open a specialty food store in the Hamptons, followed by books and TV fame. Martha Stewart leaving a trading firm to become the goddess of domesticity. Even in the movie I went to see with the girls last night, Ramona & Beezus, when Mr. Quimby (John Corbett) loses his job, he realizes he'd sold his soul to his corporate job years ago, and jumps at the chance to reinvent himself as an elementary school art teacher.

And sometimes re-invention is about your body and soul. Changing the eating habits, getting off the couch and onto the treadmill, gaining control over a chaotic household, saying no to obligations that distract you from what matters, finding time for yourself by getting up earlier, changing your hairstyle, getting your teeth whitened, recovering the sofa, quitting the BlackBerry after-hours, repairing a relationship.

(That's what happened at the end of City Slickers, by the way -- Billy Crystal says he's not quitting his job, he's just going to do it better, he's going to do everything better.)

The idea of re-invention seems to be emerging as a new rite of passage -- it's not as drastic as a mid-life crisis, which could involve expensive convertibles and reckless behavior. Re-invention is the opposite -- seeing mid-life not as a crisis, but an opportunity.

From the Reinvention Institute to the More Reinvention Convention, an entire industry is forming around people's desire to live the second halves of their lives passionately, maybe even more passionately than ever before.

I'm all for Re-invention. What about you?

images from http://unemployedandfabulous.wordpress.com/2010/02/05/reinvent-yourself/

Must-See Turning 40 Movie: City Slickers

2010-08-02T12:14:00.004-04:00

I re-watched City Slickers last night and must recommend it to everyone who's turning 40. Billy Crystal is the everyman - he has a nice life, but is in a bit of a rut: he's not satisfied at work and he's feeling the pressures of family life (funding tuitions and visiting the in-laws) more than the enjoyment. Bruno Kirby is the ladies' man who just married a much-younger lingerie model and Daniel Stern is going through a contentious divorce. As they approach 40, they're all looking for answers in their lives.

And so they go on a cattle drive and as the back of the DVD probably says, hilarity ensues. City Slickers may be the little seed that set all these Fabulous 40th Birthdays in motion -- the cultural image that suggested this is what you should do when you're approaching 40: round up your best friends and do something big!!

The movie is filled with great quotes and a few "before they were stars" moments, like a young Jake Gyllenhal playing Crystal's son.

But the moral of the whole movie is about figuring out what you want out of life. And as we approach 40, I think a lot of us think about it -- what is it? This was the exchange between Billy Crystal's character, Mitch, and Jack Palance's leathered cowboy character, Curly:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean shit.
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.

City Slickers shows us that the answer is sometimes a lot less complicated than we think...but getting away from it all can help you figure it out.

image #1: www.theage.com.au/.../10/12/1160246252383.html

Happy Fab 40th, Kit!

2010-07-29T17:24:00.003-04:00

Happy Fab 40th to one of my newest good friends, Kit. Kit and I met on a work project two summers ago that had us commuting weekly between Los Angeles and New York. The 16 hour days were long and the Red Eyes on Jet Blue were less than glamorous, but we also had a lot of fun.

At first glance, you might think that Kit and I aren't very much alike. For starters, I'm like a foot taller than her (Kit, if you're reading this, I actually have a bag of nice clothes of mine that shrunk that I'm planning to send to you). She's a Southern girl; I'm a Northern girl. She's brunette; I'm blonde. She calls herself a Jackass in jest; I try to avoid using any variation of the word "ass." She talks a mile a minute, to everybody, while some people might describe me as a bit reserved, calm. But on the inside, my inner monologue sounds a lot like Kit does on the outside - and that's what I like about her so much: she says so many of the things I think, but might not say out loud.

A big success in her own right, she's also a huge champion of others. She relates to people immediately, nodding as she soaks in all of their biographical information, gets the big picture fast, and sees things in them that others might not see. For that reason, she gives great advice and encourages and helps friends with gusto.

The Avis rental car lady at the Long Beach airport loved her when she asked the perfunctory "was everything satisfactory," and Kit, who doesn't do perfunctory, peered into the little booth, read her name tag and sang, "Di-ane, we've been C-ruisin' in the Mini." "C-ruisin!" Only Kit could make the mini-van seem kind of cool and make the Avis lady laugh too.

Kit was the first person I told about my idea for "My Fabulous 40th Birthday" and of course, she thinks it could be HUGE! Big TV Show! And I love her for that. She's also probably the one friend who hasn't even read this blog -- "I can't get the damn address right." -- and I love her for that too.

Happy Fabulous 40th, Kit!

Turning 40 - Wordle Style

2010-07-15T15:16:00.002-04:00

Lots of different thoughts about turning 40 swirling in my head...here are some:

(After half-an-hour of trying to make this bigger, I give up. You can see it big by clicking this link.)

_APPY _ORTIETH _IRTHDAY, LANCE!

2010-06-25T07:52:00.007-04:00

I'm sorry it has been a while...time got away from me, but I couldn't let the week wrap up without acknowledging that my friend Lance turned 40 last weekend.

I first met Lance when we were both the new college grads working at a PR agency in Los Angeles. We weren't in the same department, so I didn't know him well until we were both summoned as a last resort to fix a client situation. Apparently someone had rubbed a client the wrong way (possibly literally...we never got all the details), and they needed new reps to patch things up. So, they sent the kids.

Part one of the assignment was a road trip - my very first business trip. As we stood on line at the airport, I told Lance I liked his luggage. "Thank you, I won it when I was Teen Week Champion on Wheel of Fortune." I spent the rest of the trip hearing the blow-by-blow of Lance's 30 minutes with Pat Sajak, and was thrilled when several years later, I actually got to see the video tape. It is still the best half-hour of television I've seen in my life.

First of all, in the video, seventeen-year-old Lance is a soprano. Next, like a true publicist in the making, he squeezes a personal plug into every on-screen moment. For every letter he chooses, he mentions a friend or relative, "I'll take a 'K' as in Kelly, Pat." But the big moment comes when he's up big in dollars, and the puzzle is so easy to solve: "_oney Island _ot _og." Any New Yorker knows exactly what this is, but a kid from a small town in Northern California? Not so much. So he guesses a "Z" or something. But in typical, uniquely Lance-like luck, the next person loses a turn, the next is equally clueless, he gets a second chance and he figures it out! In the end, he wins a car and nearly suffocates Pat Sajak in a bear hug.

Back to the business trip - the clients loved us and the next week they were back in LA and we took them to the Dodgers game. Again, we knew nothing about entertaining clients, but we had a great time. We used all the money the company gave us to buy not only us and them beer and hot dogs, but everyone in our entire section. It was like spending the day with Ferris Bueller, without the snark and sarcasm.

Cut to 17 or 18 years later, and Lance still has that same joie de vivre. He reports that his wife, "J as in Jennifer," (for whom I believe he bought a necklace during his Wheel appearance - it was back when you still went shopping in their showcase vs. getting cash), had a great celebration for him that truly surprised and touched him.

So, Lance, _APPY _ORTIETH _IRTHDAY!! And many more!

Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday to My Oldest Friend

2010-06-13T23:05:00.003-04:00

Just like The Simpsons is the longest primetime entertainment show on TV, and Phantom of the Opera is the longest running show on Broadway, Marianne is the longest running show in my life -- we've been friends since kindergarten -- and today is her fabulous 40th birthday.

Marianne and I were the best of friends growing up. We spent hours together doing a lot of typical 1970s stuff, mostly playing Barbies and rollerskating up and down the street. We had two pairs of roller skates that we'd take turns wearing - one was a set of sneaker roller skates and the other was the metal kind that went over your shoes and you needed a key to adjust. Clearly the sneaker set was superior, but we'd always take turns wearing both.

We also did a lot of oddball stuff, which was probably why we were friends. What defines oddball? Clown School.

I loved being with Marianne's family as much as I liked being with Marianne, and they liked me too. So much so that one time when Marianne was sick, they invited me to take her place at a John Denver concert.

I spent many June Thirteenths at some pretty great parties. Marianne's birthday parties were always wonderfully old-fashioned, with creative party games, relay races, and cakes with special dolls baked into them.

I'm not sure what Marianne is up to on this June 13th, but I hope it is a fabulous 40th birthday!

The Silly List (a registered trademark of My Fabulous 40th Birthday)

2010-06-09T23:48:00.011-04:00

Other than the fact that these are observations I've made over the past four decades (or possibly just the last four years), this blog post has nothing to do with turning 40. Please allow me the detour to share...THE SILLY LIST.

The Silly List began a number of years ago, when my parents attended the opera for the first time and deemed it...well, silly. They weren't saying it was bad, just a little silly (to them). Thus began an ongoing mental compilation of The Silly List. Over the years, I've added to it - here are five of my top ten items on The Silly List. Again, silly's not bad, it's just silly; I have no feelings of ill will towards these inductees. Five more to come in a future installment, if you like these:

THE SILLY LIST

1. Pre-school Graduations. Four year-olds in caps and gowns - how could this not make the list?

(image: Sterni.net)

2. Twitter. Yes, there are practical uses (finding out when the cupcake truck is outside our office building) and at times it has emerged as a real news medium (the Iranian protests), but 95% of it just seems silly. I know, I'll be eating my words in the future...

3. Fruit Cozies. I know people love to knit, but does an apple really need its own sweater?

4. Paying Famous People a Lot of Money to Do Voiceovers for Animated Films. The kids have no clue, and there are so few kids' movies, we're going to go no matter who does the voices. Ray Romano isn't getting me into the theater.

(image: allmoviephoto.com)

5. Lamb Chop Ruffles. They're cute (I always want to save them to be Barbie toques) but what do they really bring to the party? At least their cousins, corn-on-the-cob holders and wine glass tags, have a function. Ruffles are pure frill. (As it turns out, after writing this, I looked it up and that's what they're actually called "frills.")

(image: tasteofhome.com)

More to come...

You Know...the Whatdaya-Call it...Part 2

2010-06-02T18:16:00.003-04:00

I heard from a lot of you that you related to my issues with word retrieval (if you recall, my memory lapses included the words "cutting board," "counter-intuitive," and "iPhone.") I recently read this article by Cathleen Schine from the April issue of More, and thought you might get a chuckle out of it too.

This excerpt is the best part and explains it all, especially the utter surprise I always feel when I can't readily produce the word I have in mind...

"“That book . . . the one about . . . you know . . . ” I say.

“By what’s his name?” Sarah says.

“No, the other one, the other one . . . ” Molly says.

“Oh, that book!” Sarah cries.

“That one, yes, that one!” I say.

“By her!” Molly says, and we all nod happily.

This conversation took place in a publisher’s office a year or so ago: a writer, an editor and an agent, all of us the same age, all of us waving our arms and nodding vigorous encouragement to the others, as if we were hunting dogs, huge-pawed puppies in the woods of middle-aged memory just learning to retrieve dead ducks, gingerly, in our big slobbery jaws. Scientists call this inability to recall a name “TOT,” or tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. It has something to do with the anterior cingulate and prefrontal cortices. I’m sure there are scientific names for many of the varieties of memory challenges I live with, though few, I suspect, with such a jolly, colloquial ring as TOT." (MORE, April 2010, Cathleen Schine)

ROLL WITH IT: SARBJIT'S 40th BIRTHDAY BOWLING BASH

2010-05-17T16:50:00.004-04:00

As I've said before, My Fabulous 40th Birthday isn't a monologue, it's a collective celebration of turning 40. And at least in my world, people are turning 40 every day in every which way. Just this week, I received an invitation from a new acquaintance to "party like it's 1970," heard from an old high school friend celebrating his 40th on the beach in Bali, and received this email from my college buddy, Sarbjit.

I first met Sarbjit when we were college freshmen. He asked if I'd come to his dorm room to help braid his long hair so he could tuck it into a turban, or more likely, a baseball cap. His mom had always done it up until then and he didn't know how. I bet he asked all the girls to do that. Nice try, Sab!

Anyhow, braiding led to friendship - one that has lasted 22 years to-date. Sab, a blogger in his own right, Sports Doing Good, offered up this lovely contribution to our collective 40th Birthday Celebration. I give you:

The New Becomes Old Which Becomes New Which Becomes Old…
by Sab Singh

April 11. My 40th birthday. Not something I was especially excited about but neither was it something I dreaded. Birthday are old hat at this point. I don’t think about my age much. Just sort of have a feeling about it.

But over the past 2 to 3 years, my birthday has taken on a new meaning because it is now another time for me to “party” with my nieces. Well, how do you party with the pre-5 year old set? You do what they like to do (what they consider “new school”, even if they don’t know what that term means). And if you are lucky, it is what you liked to do when you were that young. (old school baby!). And for my 40th, we found common ground…we went bowling.

My old school birthday entailed hitting the bowling alley in my hometown of Rockville Centre, NY. The bowling alley has been around for more than 30 years, which I find really comforting living in a world in which so much is new, with so much turnover that is not always for the best.

The bowling party entailed my parents (the older set), me, my brother and his wife (the not-so old set), and the girls (the newbies). We all took a shot at the old game of bowling, which has a decidedly new feel to it, with electronic scoring, fancy graphics, and a more polished environment.

The older sets laughed about how long it has been since we were in a bowling alley, how much fun it was, and then rejoiced in the wide smiles we saw on the girls’ faces after each new ball was rolled.

We had a great day, this celebration of the 40th year since my birth. April 11, 1970 launched a period of newness. And while some of the “new” has become (relatively) old, I am thrilled that the two newest people in my life who I love very much see that “old” as being new. And that feeling will never get old.

My Fabulous 40th Fiesta

2010-05-09T22:46:00.011-04:00

In honor of Cinco de Mayo...okay, I know it's now almost Diez de Mayo, but I got busy...how about a Fabulous 40th Fiesta?

A Fabulous 40th Fiesta is a guaranteed good time that you can pull off on any budget, any time of year. My friend Aileen tells me she had a Fabulous 40th Fiesta in October - I'm still waiting for the pictures, so I'm conjuring my own vision of what I think it could look like.

I think for a lot of people, it starts with the Margaritas.

Margaritas are not my favorite, I prefer Mexican beer. I even like it in a can. A lot.

I love guacamole.

Empanadas are a filling option if you want to make this a cocktail party only.

And tequila shots are always an option. One that I opt out of ALWAYS. I assure you, if I opted in, it would not end well.

Why not get a Mariachi band?

And decorate with Papel Picados...

And a great Pinata...

Now that's a Fabulous 40th Fiesta!

In Search of the Perfect 10

2010-04-29T22:55:00.005-04:00

No...not that Perfect 10.

After nearly 40 years of pounding the pavement, my feet are a little bigger than they used to be, which means they are no longer a perfect size 10. This has made my multi-year search for the perfect flat shoe a difficult challenge indeed. Really - for years I've been searching. I love all the cute ballet flats in the J.Crew catalog, but they're too small. Spent an hour trying on Nike/Cole Haan combos...to no avail. They're too narrow across the top and too big in the heel. And for those of you who think, just get a size 10 1/2, guess what? They rarely make them. It's really common for companies to offer half sizes to 10 and then it jumps to 11.

As a working girl, I needed a comfortable flat shoe that could take me the seven blocks to drop off my daughter at school, but still look appropriate with a dress. I was this close to giving up and single-handedly trying to bring back the horrendous-but-comfortable 1980s suit-with-sneakers look, until the day that this ugly stepsister finally turned into a Cinderella. I slipped into a size 10 Geox Respira Lola ballet flat and it fit!

I don't know if the guys can relate to this - because it looks like they're wearing fairly comfortable shoes every day all day, but these shoes - with their soft leather uppers and flexible rubber soles - have changed my life. I'm comfortable, I'm getting places faster, I don't have any blisters, I feel pulled-together, I'm not as tired, I'm in a better mood.

Finally, a perfect 10. Do you think I could braid that little bow into cornrows?

(Bo Derek - www.strangeoldpictures.com; beloved Geox - shopgeox.com)

Half Way There!

2010-04-28T22:53:00.003-04:00

Today marks the half-way point in my year-long journey from 39 to 40. And how do I feel? Well, not young.

It's also my sixth consecutive day of exercise - a real first for me. I've been running, swimming, (brisk) walking, and yoga-ing. And so far, I don't feel better. I feel worse. My head feels like it weighs 40 pounds and I think I might have arthritis. And I might be fatter.

But if I stick with it, I'll be fit by 40. Right?

You Know....Whatdaya Call it...

2010-04-27T21:56:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking that if I had to take the SATs all over again, 22 years later, my MATH score would undoubtedly be lower than the original, but my VERBAL score would likely be much higher. But as of very recently, I'm worried that I'm starting to slip in this department too. Do you ever have word retrieval issues?

In the past week or so, I've struggled (and in the last two cases, failed) to come up with the following words: "counter-intuitive," "TMJ," (that jaw problem that I think I have, but that's a whole other post), and "cutting board."

Is this the sign of a busy week or an aging brain?

My Fabulous 40th Earth Day

2010-04-22T11:18:00.004-04:00

A lot of good things happened in 1970, among them the creation of Earth Day, which marks its own fabulous 40th birthday today.

It's quite possible that nothing makes me feel guiltier than my own non-Earth friendly ways. I'm appalled at how much garbage our little family of four generates, I tend to light up the whole house even if I'm just in one room, I sometimes forget to unplug the cell phone charger, and I let the shower run way too long.

But my latest obsession is the food that we throw away every week. I don't think I knew before that it wouldn't naturally decompose, but was more likely to sit in a landfill and release potent methane gas. Sometimes I put it down the disposal, but I'm not sure if that's much better. So, in honor of Earth Day, I'm buying myself a present today - a kitchen counter composter.

Now, one reviewer astutely noted that this should really be called the kitchen counter composter keeper, as it does not really do the job of composting, just keeps it contained and odor-free until you can get it to your compost heap. Which means I have to build an outdoor composter...

I guess I know what I'm doing this weekend. Happy Earth Day.

My Fabulous 40th Fashion: The Perfect T Shirt

2010-04-19T14:51:00.007-04:00

There comes a time in a woman's life when pant waistlines seem to be dipping increasingly lower just as shirt lengths become increasingly shorter...leaving exposed an area that, to put it kindly, has seen better days.

Of course, this exposure often coincides with the raising of young children, a job that requires frequent bending over (hello "Whale Tail") and lifting (causing the shirt to rise even higher, showing "Muffin Top"), leaving us almost-fabulous-40 year-olds constantly tugging down the shirt or pulling up the pants to make ends meet...until now.

Drumroll please.

Meet the J.Crew Perfect Fit Tee. Perfect in every way, but especially because of the forgiving four-plus inches it extends past the natural waist, completely covering the top of the pants, creating a firm seal to prevent thong exposure. It comes in henley, cascade, scoopneck, crew neck, long sleeved, short sleeved...but could it possibly stay in fashion forever? I fear not, which is why I'm maniacally stocking up for the next two decades...thought I'd share the secret.

Eyes and Ears

2010-04-17T09:26:00.005-04:00

When we were about 18, my best friend and I agreed that when we got old and our hypothetical husbands were long gone (sorry guys, it was easier to be so cavalier when you were just hypothetical), we'd live together and we'd each serve an important function: she'd be the eyes and I'd be the ears.

We've discussed my failing vision before (here and here) and my b.f.'s hearing has been middle-aged since we were kids. Last week I was at her house (a rare and wonderful occasion for just the two of us to hang out) and after about half an hour of regular intervals of a high pitched beep followed by a scanning sound, I finally said "is that a fax machine?" "Oh no, it must be my de-humidifier in the basement - let me go empty it!" As she headed for the basement, she said, "You have really good hearing! (she always has nice things to say to me)"

"Just living up to my end of the deal!" I shouted after her. I don't think she heard me.

40th Birthday Gift Idea: 40 Reasons Why I Love You

2010-04-14T16:46:00.007-04:00

Remember my cousin Tara's party? Or how about my friend Doug's party, 40 Years of Television? Both birthday persons were treated to a toast, 40 Reasons Why I/We Love You. It's a great idea and here's a beautiful way to capture all those reasons for posterity...

This comes from Quotes and Notes on Etsy. It's a 3 inch by 2 inch mini notepad with a basswood cover, held together with a binder ring and it's $22. If you haven't discovered Etsy yet, I highly recommend it. Etsy is a collection of independent shops run by artisans of every ilk - knitters, dressmakers, painters, crafters, pursemakers, vintage collectors - you name it. It's the perfect antidote for the commercial sameness that seems to be sweeping across the world. You know the feeling - plunk into any city and you're sure to see the same stores you have back home. Everything on Etsy is unique and limited to how many the shopkeeper has or can make, ensuring that every find is really a find. I can't say enough good things.

Anyhow -- I thought this was a perfect and perfectly affordable 40th Birthday gift. All you need to add are those forty reasons...

40th Birthday: Simple Gestures

2010-04-12T17:00:00.003-04:00

These photos are tiny, but I spotted them on a friend's Facebook page, with the text "40th Surprise - This is What I Came Home to." In it is a happy little boy who is up to his eyeballs in balloons, gleefully surprising his Dad.

I don't even know this guy - it's my friend's friend, but the photos reminded me that there are lots of little ways to make a person feel special on his or her birthday and how important it is to do just that.

Balloons. Cards. Breakfast in bed. A day off to go to the movies or check out a different part of town. A gift certificate for a manicure. A phone call. A cupcake. Dinner at home...simple can be fabulous too. What are your ideas?

What Scares You?

2010-04-07T22:49:00.006-04:00

Put me on live TV and I'm calm as can be. Stick a needle in my arm and I won't look away. Need a giant bug removed from your bathtub? I'm your gal.

But put me behind the wheel headed to a never-before navigated destination and I am a wreck. Today I had to go to Westchester for work and while I was looking forward to a change of pace, I was, to say the least, anxious about the drive.

After a bad night's sleep, I spent a half-hour before the departure studying the directions on Google Maps, taking advantage of the photo feature to try to memorize what all the key turns looked like. There were things that didn't make sense - slight right towards 9A North, then slight left to 9A south for 354 feet, then right again to 9A. FDR, Harlem River Drive, Henry Hudson, Saw Mill, Hutch,684, 22...so many names, so many numbers. The over-preparation threw me into an even more nervous state.

I can't pinpoint what it is that freaks me out the most - fear of getting lost? crashing? wasting time? finding myself in a bad neighborhood? I think it's a general sense of being out of control - on a ride (did I mention I really don't like roller coasters) that's going too fast that you can't get off.

I got myself organized before taking off - seat nice and high (I marvel at people who drive with the seat reclined - driving is definitely a lean-forward activity for me), mirrors adjusted, water available, A/C at comfortable temperature, sandals off and sensible shoes on, directions to my right. Buzz Aldrin wasn't this prepared.

But despite of or because of it all - I was about five minutes into the trip when the heart pounding got really loud, my forearms felt tingly, and my grip was loosening on the steering wheel due to my sweaty palms. I felt a Tony Soprano moment coming on...the panic attack.

Panic attack sounds so dramatic though, and I'm always a minimizer versus a maximizer. Even when she screamed all day, I'd only describe the baby as fussy, never colicky. If my head feels like it's in a vise and I can't open one eye, that's a bad headache, not a migraine.

So, we'll just call it High Anxiety, but the older I get, the higher the anxiety about this. I had to talk myself down - "you're doing great, deep breaths, oooh...it's Mariah Carey, sing along, distract yourself." And I was doing great - I am actually a very good driver with an excellent driving record (to the three shell-shocked people in the backseat during my Highway Driving Class from Driver's Ed 1987 who experienced the emergency use of the passenger side brake, I assure you I have gotten much better over the last 23 years).

I thought of nothing other than the next step in my directions and calming myself down until I hit the Saw Mill Parkway and saw the cell phone tower about which I once remarked to my husband, "what an unusual tree," and have never lived it down. (If you will recall from a previous post, I am extremely near-sighted.) That made me laugh, which made me relax, and it was smooth sailing from that point on. Ride home was a breeze too - New York City is hard to miss, it's getting out of it that I find so daunting.

I don't want to become one of those older women with self-imposed driving restrictions - "I don't do Expressways - the trucks," "I don't do bridges," "I can't go through a tunnel," "I don't drive at night," but for my own mental health, I may have to.

Photo credits: ManiacWorld.com, Funonthenet.in, TechGuy.com

Cleaning Out the Hard Drive

2010-04-06T22:31:00.003-04:00

At one point in my life, I remembered everything. Everyone's birthday, every word uttered over recess, every injustice and embarrassing moment to come my way, all the books I'd read, what I did on my summer vacation, what my parents had served for Christmas dinner three years prior...it was all right there in my mind.

At a certain point - definitely by 40 - there's just too much to remember. Too many years have been lived to recall every moment. And so, your brain - mine at least - starts to selectively clean out the hard drive, seemingly without consulting you first.

I can't tell you how many books I've read 30 pages of before saying, "I think I read this already." Last month, I remembered an idea I had to invent a board game. I was in Barnes & Noble, and lo and behold, the game had already been invented (by Darryl Hannah, no less.) But the sad part is that years ago when I originally had the board game idea, I was greatly disappointed when the Darryl Hannah version came out soon after. So not only did I forget the idea, I forgot that it had already been squashed.

Yesterday I read an old journal entry that references a date with someone named Endre. I would have sworn to you that I had never even met anyone by that name, but my diaries don't lie. (Apologies if the so-called Endre is reading this. Doubtful.)

At 40, it's probably time to clean out the old hard drive and make room for some new memories. I wonder what's happening in my life now that is utterly forgettable and what's memorable...only time will tell.

Almost 40 Realization # 5: Yoga Isn't Easy

2010-04-02T22:09:00.006-04:00

Earlier in the year, I "won" something at my younger daughter's school auction. I say "won" in quotation marks, because when I excitedly say "look what we won in the silent auction," my husband always corrects me saying, "you didn't really win it, you just paid the most for it." "There's a difference."

Anyhow, I "won" three personal training sessions with a yoga instructor and tonight was the first session.

As you may recall, getting heart healthy and somewhat in shape is one of the things I want to accomplish before I'm 40. (Secretly, while I'm looking out for my heart, I'd be thrilled to see the cellulite disappear in the process.) Running was the first try, with a stint with The New York Road Runners club, in a beginners class with a goal of running 20 minutes straight. But as fall turned to winter it was really cold and dark, I had a bad cough for weeks, I always had a stitch in my side, and to top it all off, I get this weird unbearable extreme itchiness when I run. So with all these excuses, I never finished the class, never got past running 10 minutes straight.

While it would be pretty awesome to be really good at yoga - and have the body to match - I'm not sure it's going to happen. First of all, it's hard. I discovered that I am weak (weaker than I thought), my balance isn't great, and when I tried to do this(reverse prayer pose) I got a massive Charley Horse in my arm/shoulder, making me feel immediately dizzy and nauseous and rendering my arm limp and useless for about 5minutes. I'd be embarrassed, but ever since I developed "forty-tude," it takes a lot for me to get bent out shape (a little yoga humor.) I'd gotten a Charley Horse in my foot before, usually from pointing my toe on the bottom of a pool, and in my neck, most recently after clocking my head on the way out of the attic, but never in my arm.

The instructor was great and extremely patient with me, but it will require a lot of motivation to keep this up. We'll see. Namaste.

Almost 40 Realization # 4: I GIVE UP. I'M JUST GOING TO BUY BIGGER PANTS

2010-03-30T12:07:00.004-04:00

Need I say anything more?

(image from nolofitness.wordpress.com)

Almost 40 Realization # 3: I'm Not Going to be on Any "40 Under 40" Lists

2010-03-29T13:24:00.006-04:00

The Crain's New York "40 Under 40" list came across my desk today and not that it was a lifelong dream or anything, but it was a reminder that my chances of being recognized for youthful success are...over.

We never seem to want to recognize people's accomplishments for just happening whenever they came together for that particular person. Made CEO at 35? Great. It should be just as great at 55. But instead, we need to create the story out of it - "Reading at age 3!" "Running the Today Show at 25!"

So, if I wasn't destined to be a young prodigy, I have to go the other route, where people do things at a surprisingly old age. Like "Twins at 50!" "Over-40 Olympian!" "Sky-diving Grandma!" and other exclamation point-worthy feats, although to be clear, none of those are things I will EVER, EVER do.

I say, do whatever it is you want to do, whenever it's right for you. Who's counting?

Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday Jim!

2010-03-25T23:02:00.004-04:00

Today's Fabulous 40th Birthday shout-out goes to another Jim from college, but we had most of our adventures together post-college, when we re-connected at 25/26 (note, I was 25 to his 26, just as I am 39 to his 40 :))to become NYC roommates.

Jim was the perfect roommate. 1.) His male presence made my parents feel slightly better about their daughter living in a third-floor walk-up next to an abandoned lot, with a front door covered in graffiti and crow-bar marks. 2.) He was a young lawyer who worked long hours, giving me space when I wanted it. 3.) And he offered to pay more rent than I did (very appreciated as this was around the same time that I once went to dinner with friends, not with bills in my wallet, but with a large bag of loose change in my purse).

My favorite Jim memories from that era include New Year's Eve 1995 or really the wee hours of New Year's Day 1996, Yorkville Brewery: Jim peeling me away from someone not quite worthy of my company, saying politely to the much bigger guy, "she has to leave now." Jim accidentally kicking my leg out from under me while dancing at a wedding, leaving me with a broken elbow, although he did cut my meat for me for the next week. And my other favorite, Jim returning to the apartment one Sunday saying he'd just run the NY Marathon - he hadn't trained for it, but had volunteered to run a couple of miles with a blind Japanese runner (he speaks Japanese). By mile 13 he felt pretty good, so he just kept on going.

So, Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday to Jim...may he always just keep on going!

Turning 40 Quote #3: Go confidently in the direction of your dreams

2010-03-16T12:56:00.010-04:00

I can’t get enough of this quote and thanks to quotable, the company (co-founded by the talented Gillian Simon) that pairs meaningful quotes with inspired graphic design, I have it everywhere. It’s on my office bulletin board, it’s on a magnet in my kitchen, and on the cover of my journal.

It’s a constant reminder, at almost 40, that I must not settle for living anything less than the life I’ve imagined. If I didn’t have these words around me, I think I’d get really far off course – they pull me in whenever I stray.

Did I imagine that my evenings would center around watching LOST while eating leftovers on my lap, and then falling into bed? Not entirely – while it’s okay every now and then, I did not imagine a life as a couch potato. Those words get me to turn off the TV, light a candle, set the table.

Did I imagine that on Christmas morning in my late thirties, I’d be dressed in the same outfit as my children -- a red union suit from Red Envelope with my name embroidered on it? God, no. And while my mother gave it to me with love and I wore it once, those words tell me I cannot wear it again.

Did I imagine I’d be a writer? Well, start writing. Did I imagine a warm and inviting home? Start decorating. Did I imagine a life filled with family and friends? Start making more plans. Did I imagine being 40? Not really, but I’m imagining it’s going to be pretty good.

Almost-40 Realization #2: What Am I Saving it For?

2010-03-14T16:42:00.009-04:00

(Don't jump to any conclusions by the photo above...)

I have always been a saver, which I'm hoping is a bit better than being a hoarder. I've seen those hoarder episodes on Oprah, and they're not pretty. In my mind, a saver is to a hoarder what chubby is to morbidly obese.

This rainy weekend has given me the opportunity to clean up and take a hard look at all the stuff I've been saving...here are a few things I found:

1. Expired Cans of Soup and Beans. Why didn't we eat these? Maybe it was overly ambitious to think our family would whip up something with pinto beans after work one night? We've never eaten pinto beans before. Hasta la vista, pintos.

2. Bag of Kettle Chips that expired in 2007. We moved here in mid-2008. Does that mean I packed the already expired Kettle Chips and brought them here? Or worse yet, that I paid a mover to pack and carry them? Chucked 'em.

3. Convertible Victoria's Secret Bra Straps - Never Used. I don't even know what bra they go with. I certainly don't wear it. Throw them away.

OK...along with the three items above, you'll be happy to hear I also tossed "IBS for Dummies," a lot of magazines (which I donate to children's ICU waiting areas, which illustrates one of my obstacles with getting rid of things, I need to find a good home for my old stuff. If I do, it's much easier to give away), way-too-many shopping bags, and handfuls of broken kids' toys. These items were just the warm-up. Here's where I start getting in trouble...In some cases, I'm not entirely sure why I'm saving these things, but I don't seem to be able to let go.

4. Used Pregnancy Tests. This seems weird - what am I saving these for? I have the children to show as proof positive that yes, I really was pregnant. Do I need to save these (once urine-soaked) sticks? Am I going to put them in a Martha Stewart-style scrapbox and hang it on the living room wall? I don't think so. But yet, I stash them in a bag under the sink. What's wrong with me?

5. Leftover Christmas Cards. We seem to have about 50 left. If you didn't get one, let me know, I'll send it to you. I contemplated throwing them away, I really did...but it's hard to throw away pictures of your kids, right? I have decided that I will use the back of them to write notes to school - like when my daughter has permission to go to someone's house after school. Weak? Maybe?

6. Remote Control to Air Conditioner in Our Old Apartment. It seems lazy and a bit mean to just toss this, when I could mail it to the new owners who would get some use out of it. I've been saying this for eight months.

7. Domino Magazines. Anyone who knows me knows I mourned the closing of this magazine. I've heard of single copies fetching $50 on eBay - not that I'd sell even one. These are collectors' items now - can't get rid of these.

8. Bag of Colorful Lipsticks. All I wear is a light lipgloss. But you never know...

9. Gift Closet Gone Crazy. A long time ago, I started a gift closet in order to be stocked up on presents in advance, so I wouldn't be making a mad dash to the toy store before every children's birthday party or would have a bottle of Champagne in a nice bag ready to go as a hostess gift. But we live in New York City -2 toy stores and 3 liquor stores are within a few blocks; how hard is that? Now, the gift closet has stagnated - it's desperate for a clearance sale. Time to get rid of it all and start over, yet instead of tossing, I'm adding to it.

10. Old Knives. I am saving these simply because I don't know how one throws away knives without becoming accidently linked to a homocide.

Above all, I've been saving gift cards and store credits...what for? It's time to use them or lose them (as I did with the Tower Records and Fortunoff cards.) So this week, I'll be booking three free Yoga sessions, dinner at Nobu, massages at Bliss, finding something to buy at Banana Republic, Burberry, and Bloomingdale's, buying a large clam shell (odd, but I liked it) from Crate & Barrel, and using $10 off at Shutterfly (the old me would want to save it to over-order cards next Christmas).

I think I am to crap what black pants are to cat hair - I attract it. But I'm entering my 40s with a cleaner slate. No more saving it all!

If You Know This TV Show, You Must Be Almost 40

2010-03-13T13:13:00.007-05:00

A few weeks ago, a good friend of ours visited and brought along a little present for our girls: a DVD of the Magic Garden.

Do you remember the Magic Garden? Carole and Paula, pigtailed and bell-bottomed in early 70s splendor, sitting and singing in a magic garden where the daisies told jokes (the Chuckle Patch), a pink squirrel named Sherlock talked, and the tree bore gifts?

(Side note: freshman year, my friends and I dressed up as the Chuckle Patch for Halloween. Green sweaters with jokes pinned on them, daisy headdresses. I don't think freshman girls do that anymore - I think it's all about being sexy rather than clever, funny, or nostalgic...but I digress.)

My girls, with a little prodding, said the requisite thanks, but honestly I wasn't thinking they'd like it much, with things like Sponge Bob, Jimmy Neutron, Saddle Club, and Flight 29 Down (sort of a LOST for the Tween set) as competition. But lo and behold, the girls (4 and almost 8) are both mesmerized, proving that calmer, simpler, and nicer still have their allure in this world (I just looked at the tagline on the DVD box and it says, "Classic Television for Today's Children.")

Either that or Carole and Paula are hypnotizing them with their psychedelic folk-songs. Whatever works.

photo from www.caroleandpaula.com

Celebrate Tara!

2010-03-09T10:04:00.006-05:00

On Saturday night, the whole family assembled in Westchester for my cousin Tara's 40th birthday party: it was a wonderful celebration of a thoughtful, generous, inclusive, fun person.

Put succinctly, Tara is good company. A big party, camping out, a wedding, dinner and a movie, hanging out with the kids, taking a trip - Tara's there and she's really there. Unlike some people I know, myself included, she's always really present, in the moment, and in tune with the people around her. So it was fun on Saturday night to see so many people present for her.

The party was at her sister and brother-in-law's house, which looked like a home from a Nancy Meyers movie (It's Complicated, Something's Gotta Give). When we pulled up, the house was simply glowing - fireplaces beckoned from the inside and a path of luminarias led to the double doors. (I took a picture, but it does not do it justice at all.)

Food was abundant and delicious - passed hors d'ouevres and a great buffet in the dining room. Her youngest sister did a great job of snapping photos all night and had put together a video celebrating four decades of Tara! I always complain to Tara that I never make it into any of her Facebook photo albums, so I wasn't expecting much - but lo and behold, I made it into two photos! See me here in the background...

After the video, Tara's mom organized the group toast. Guests had been asked in advance to contribute an anecdote or single line to "Forty Reasons We Love Tara." Each quote, numbered 1 through 40, was put on an index card and sprinkled among the party guests, who took turns reading them aloud. Everyone crowded into the movie set kitchen to hear and applaud each toast.

I didn't know it then, but if I had, I would have added to the birthday quotes that there is actually a Goddess Tara, the goddess of Peace and Protection, known for her compassion,which seems so fitting for our Tara.

At the end, a few words from the birthday girl, and the party really got going! We had an early morning the next day, so we headed out, but not before taking these photos of the birthday gal. If this is what 40 looks like, I'll take it!

More Things I Don't Want for My 40th Birthday Party: A Roast

2010-03-05T11:39:00.004-05:00

Toast me, yes. Roast me, please no!

On my 40th Birthday, or really any day of my life, I really only want to hear the good things you have to say about me. I'm well-aware of my shortcomings, I don't need them handed to me, gift-wrapped in jokes.

But comedians seem to be a different breed - take Bill Chott (pronounced cot) of Wizards of Waverly Place fame, who actually HOSTED his own 40th birthday roast last summer and then invited the general public to come witness his beating by the comedic community.(Hopefully he made a couple of bucks.) The press release promises the event to be "raunchy."

Again, different strokes...

Bill seems like a nice enough guy - one of his roasters was kind enough to point out that "his heart, like his ass, is a triple XL." But I'll take my compliments without the comedy, thanks.

What about you? Would you want to be roasted or toasted?

THIS WAS THE PRESS RELEASE:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PR Log (Press Release) – Jun 18, 2009 – PRESS RELEASE June 18, 2009

Disney Celebrity Hosts XXX Rated Roast!

Bill Chott, a St. Louis Native Celebrity presents his 40th Birthday Roast, an adults-only event.

St. Louis, MO Thursday, June 18, 2009 –

Bill Chott, one of the stars of the Disney Channel’s Wizards of Waverly place will hold his 40th Birthday Party Roast on Saturday, June 27th at The Improv Trick Comedy Underground at 2715 Cherokee Street. Doors will open at 9pm.

He’s known for his work in Disney film and TV, as well as family films like the top ten film The Ringer where he played Thomas, the Special Olympian who brings home the bronze. But just like Bob Saget, he has a dark side and so do his funniest comedy friends.

Chott worked at The Second City with such comedy luminaries as Tina Fey, Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert. They can’t make it in for this event on Cherokee, but his funniest St. Louis friends, performers and local celebrities will be ripping him a new one for his 40th birthday. This event will be every bit as raunchy as a Friar’s Club or Comedy Central roast and it’s open to the public for only $8.

"I moved from St. Louis originally in 1992, and I knew I was saying goodbye to some of the funniest undiscovered talent here in St. Louis” said Chott. “When I decided to move back and split my time between St. Louis and LA, I discovered some great new talent as well. Some of the best comics in town will be out on this night to rake me over the coals, and I’m shaking in my boots!

Roastmasters will include an international comedy pioneer and MTV's Spring Break host. Marc Pruter, founder of The Big Stinkin' International Comedy Festival will serve as The Roastmaster, MTV Spring Break's BJ "Honkey" Lange will be Assistant Roastmaster.

Donny Blake, famous in St. Louis for his quirky Southwest Bank commercials will be on hand to shield Chott from misfired jokes, comedy jabs and F&@ing insults.

For Ticket Resservations, call 314-922-1998 or visit www.theimprovtrick.com

About The Improv Trick:

The Improv Trick was founded by Bill Chott, star of The Ringer, Disney's Wizards of Waverly Place, Saturday Night Live and countless cartoons and television shows. Improv Trick improvisers perform and teach improv to individuals, corporations and groups all over St. Louis including weekly shows at both The Stable and The Improv Trick Comedy Underground

Chott is a 1987 Ritenour Graduate.

Contact:

Marc Pruter, producer and Chief Scapegoat
The Improv Trick
314-922-1998
info@theimrovtrick.com
www.theimprovtrick.com

Guest Blogger: The Runaway 40 Year-Old

2010-03-02T12:52:00.005-05:00

My Fabulous 40th Birthday isn't meant to be a monologue. It's a collective conversation among all of us turning 40, which is why I am so thrilled that my friend Ana has agreed to share her story with us today.

Ana is one of my college roommates and most treasured friends. She started writing this on Friday night, the eve of her 40th birthday, and finished it up over the weekend. Thanks for sharing and Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday. xo

I am perhaps one of the most technically unsavvy 39 year-olds on this planet and never thought I would be blogging, but then again, there are many things I never thought I would do. For instance, I never thought I would be the kind of person to have a mid-life crisis (affectionately referred to among my inner circle as MLC) but here I am on the eve of my 40th birthday in the midst of doing exactly that.

Unlike KC who seems to be embracing her 40th, I have been edging slowly forward, kicking and screaming. Partly because, as has already been pointed out on this blog, I don't feel forty inside. I have been known to wail at my children, "I can be a lot of fun!" I can't possibly be forty. There is no way I have spent five decades on this planet. I refuse to believe it. That denial is what fuels the MLC. How can my life be half over when I haven't even done anything worthwhile yet?

And so, I ran away.

I packed up my husband and four children (ages 4-11), sent our dog to live with my in-laws and moved to Europe. That was six months ago. We are still here. My friends and family congratulate me on giving my children a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity but the truth is, I did it for me. After spending more than a decade putting everyone else first I did something just because I wanted to, and I made everyone else come along for the ride. I thought it would be fun. Besides, 40 year-olds don't do selfish, spontaneous things like move to Europe so that couldn't possibly be me, right?

We have been on quite an adventure...we've been learning Spanish in Madrid. We've been to Marrakesh and spent time trekking in the Atlas mountains. We've been to the village of Valbonne in the south of France and celebrated Halloween with a friend of mine from high school and her family. We've been skiing in the Austrian alps in the tiny village of Lech. We've been to Salzburg, Vienna and Linz. We've been to Prague and the Nazi camp at Terezin. We've been to Rome and Sicily....my daughter and I are going to Paris next week.

Will my children remember all of this? I'm not sure. If they remember the magnitude of the Coliseum or the opera we saw in Vienna or the taste of the Linzer torte or the Velasquez paintings at the Prado or how cold we were at Terezin even with our North Face parkas or the view from the amphitheater in Taormina or the smell of the spices we bought in the souk during our cooking class in Marrakesh then perhaps that will be enough to lead them back when they are older and encourage them to seek out new places to visit.

Even though I did it for me, I hope they have gotten more out of my MLC than if I had bought myself a Ferrari. What have I gotten out of it? Time away from my "real" life to figure out what is worthwhile and what it is I want to spend my next 40 years doing so I don't look back at 80 and not have an answer to that same question.

SURPRISE! In the midst of writing this three of my friends from home and their husbands have flown over and surprised me for my birthday. What an amazing birthday present.

Yes, I do plan on going home but in the meantime we have a few more things to do before we leave. I think I'll start by going dancing with my girlfriends until 4am just like I did when I was in my twenties.

Things I Don't Want For My 40th Birthday

2010-02-26T10:34:00.006-05:00

When it comes to things I don't want for my 40th Birthday, the list could be long: I don't want wrinkles, cellulite, gray hair, and so on. But I'm talking specifically about things I DO NOT WANT AT A 40TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION.

I started trolling around for images from 40th Birthday parties and inevitably, "celebrity" 40th birthdays abound.

I don't want this guy at my birthday party:

Or this gal:

But apparently, they both made Hans Dorsinville very happy at his 40th hosted by Donna Karan. Different strokes...

Another thing I do not want is for my husband to throw a party for me entitled "An Evening for Lola," when my name is not Lola.

And finally, I'll take a pass on these ladies:

They seemed to make Jamie Foxx happy at his 40th Birthday party. Either that or he's having a heart attack. He looks like Red Foxx (apparently no relation) doing his classic,"Elizabeth, I'm coming to join you!" fake heart attack on Sanford and Son.

I definitely don't want a heart attack. So no surprises, please.

Images: picapp.com, urbanmecca.net

Turning 40 Quote #2: "Mom, You're Squishy."

2010-02-25T10:01:00.003-05:00

This was my four year-old's observation as I was getting dressed this morning. To prove her point she pinched a few places..."See?" A real confidence-booster.

Outrageous 40th Birthday Wish #2: India Hicks' House

2010-02-23T22:06:00.006-05:00

As you may recall, Outrageous 40th Birthday Wish #1 was Peace - not world peace, just a peaceful household. But if that doesn't work out and the rot gut takes hold, I have a PLAN B...and that's where Outrageous 40th Birthday Wish #2 comes in: rent India Hicks' house on Harbour Island in the Bahamas.

For years, I have had my eye on this house -- actually two homes: The Cricket Pavilion, which sleeps four and rents for $5400 per week, and The Guest House at Hibiscus Hill, which sleeps eight and rents for $9100. The rental description says that you can "throw an ice cube from the deck and hit the beach."

The interiors are clean, white, and breezy, with beachy touches like palm trees and old globes and white painted birdcages. Photos show plentiful fresh fruit, inviting outdoor eating spaces, an alluring path down to the private beach. I've clipped every image over the years and put it in my "style file."

I think I'm sucked into the whole India Hicks lifestyle. You know who she is, right? The willowy blonde with the year-round tan (and no wrinkles to pay for it), former model, interior designer, Top Design judge? She's been sharing her island lifestyle with magazines for so many years that Crabtree & Evelyn finally turned it into a product line: India Hicks Island Living.

I think part of me imagines that booking a vacation at India's house will miraculously transform my winter white skin to a buttery caramel color, and send all by troubles packing as I mindlessly throw ice cubes at the sand. I'll eat bananas, and sip coconut milk from the shell, wearing a wide brimmed straw hat, gazing at the sea, without a care in the world. I may also finally get my much needed inspiration and write a novel during this fantasy vacation week. (Lesson learned: if you're ever renting out your home, ask a beautiful model to pose for pictures in it and have them taken by a fashion photographer.)

Of the two homes, The Cricket Pavilion is the one I think might work out best. They don't allow children to stay there. As I said, I think this is the one that might work out best.

It's an Outrageous 40th Birthday Wish...but who knows, it just might come true (some of it, anyway.)

1970s Flashback: Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific

2010-02-21T21:34:00.005-05:00

Did I tell you I went to a Seventies party a few weeks ago? It was on a Monday night (I know, it's becoming a habit), so I admit I set out for the party a little tired and a bit half-hearted...but sometimes, that's when you wind up having the best time!

Some of the outfits were great, especially my husband's Saturday Night Fever white suit and black silk shirt; the simple yet stunning decor was nothing short of groovy, with disco balls and lucite tables; and the music included all my favorites.

The only thing that could have made it better, possibly, was this: Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific shampoo and conditioner. It's back!

And there's nothing like scent to instantly transport you back in time to banana seat bikes, roller skates that attached to my shoes and came with a key to adjust them, and later on - actual sneaker roller skates. My parents' living room with the glass Noguchi table and the arched silver lamp with the marble base that nearly gave my Dad a hernia moving it into our house, the green velvet couch with a nail that stuck out and always scraped me, and our black and white TV with the rabbit ears on top.

You can take your own trip down memory lane by picking up some Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific at The Vermont Country store, which is one my all-time favorite catalogs, selling everything from old-fashioned candy to the is-this-for-real "Ergonomic Easywipe."

Almost-40 Realization #1: I'm Whine Intolerant

2010-02-17T23:14:00.004-05:00

Nearly four years ago, a few months after the birth of my second child and right as I was about to return to work after maternity leave, I started to experience stomach pains unlike anything I'd experienced before.

It was a pervasive ache, running the full length of the stomach, piercing through to the back, and accompanied by a sudden tenderness around the rib cage. And there was no relief - not Tums, not Zantac, not Prevacid, not Alka-Seltzer. I felt like I was in digestive purgatory and in major need of a nap.

When I consulted my doctor (okay, that's a bit of a stretch, because I will admit that I don't have a primary care physician, just an OBGYN) she said that it's not infrequent for gallbladders to act up after having a baby, so off I went for a sonogram. All clear.

As the months and then years went by, the stomach aches continued, off and on. I had an endoscopy (how cool is anesthesia? I was fascinated that one minute I was counting backwards from 10 and the next I was in the recovery room) and some kind of body scan that required downing 2 vile liters of Barium Something Or Other (not so cool although I still have the complimentary tin of feel-better mints from NYU Hospital) and everything, thank goodness, came up negative.

It seemed that the occasional bout of Rot Gut (my technical term) was my destiny.

It wasn't until Spring Break last year - three years after my first bout -- that a diagnosis came. And I didn't need a primary care physician, a gastroenterologist, or a sonogram technician to figure it out -- it was my husband. Day 4 with the kids was also Day 4 of consistent Rot Gut and it was then and there that my husband had the lightbulb moment - it's not an ulcer, it's not your gallbladder, it's not a muscle pull, IT'S THE KIDS.

Some people are wheat intolerant, some are lactose intolerant, I am whine intolerant. Every whine, every unreasonable harrumph and every eye roll is like another knife in the gut. Sometimes even happy shrieks can aggravate an already irritated system.

But while you can make gluten-free cookies and switch to Spelt bread, or pick up Lactaid in place of your usual 1%, you cannot get whine-free kids. So, I continue to suffer quietly, but as I get older and see others struggling with far greater health issues, I can endure the occasional Rot Gut with the great peace of mind that...it's only the kids.

(image from Kikoshouse.blogspot.com)

Happy Fabulous 40th Birthdays to A Few College Friends...

2010-02-15T10:52:00.003-05:00

If I was tech savvy enough to add music to this blog, you'd be hearing the pulsing beat of "another one bites the dust" right about now. Just for fun.

Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday Shout Outs to...

Jim (February 12) -- My favorite Jim moment may be when we drove from Washington, D.C. to New York City to see Saturday Night Live. We stopped by the Oak Bar at the Plaza Hotel, and Jim ordered a Manhattan, just because he was in Manhattan. I loved that. The scariest part is that was 20 years ago!!

Vanessa (February 13) -- More than 20 years ago, Vanessa lived across the hall from me in our freshman dorm. One of our rituals was dancing in the hall to Tone-Loc's Wild Thing (or possibly Funky Cold Medina). I also recall that we once went on a double date at The Tombs with two graduate students. Now we run into each other in the mornings after school drop-off.

Jason (February 14) -- I've lost touch with Jason, but once I know someone's birthday, it's hard for me to forget it. Jason was always a voice of reason and maturity in a sea of crazinesss.

Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday Friends!

Olympians Over 40

2010-02-14T14:42:00.002-05:00

We heard a lot about Dara Torres and her impressive (over 40) performance at the Beijing Olympics. Now let's hear it for the two 40 year-olds I found on the US Olympic roster -- Curlers John Benton and Tracy Sachtjen.

The final medal events take place February 26 (women's) and February 27 (men's). Let's go John and Tracy!

Can You Turn Down that Racket? (and other ways that I'm turning into an octagenarian)

2010-02-08T22:40:00.005-05:00

Tonight, I attended an ice skating party in Central Park held by my daughter's school. Outside, it was a crisp February night that gives you the chills; inside, after wrestling two pairs of ice skates onto squirmy little girls while wearing three layers of clothing, it was boiling. On the ice - it was perfect (well almost...you'll see). The dark sky, the brilliant ice, the trees and the skyscrapers surrounding us like a movie set. It's a sight that makes me love living in New York.

As my husband took on the back-breaking duty of skating with a four year-old, one of the other dads struck up a conversation with me. "Do you play street polo?," he asked. That can't be right, I thought, and when I asked him to repeat the question, it turned out he said, "Did you see the Super Bowl?"

Which brings me to the question...WHEN DID THE MUSIC GET SO LOUD? A few weeks ago, I told you I was one all-night computer session away from needing bi-focals, now I'm struck with another sign of aging, the strong desire to say, "Can someone please turn that racket down?" Never mind that I don't recognize most of the songs playing, but could we please turn them down enough so we can hear each other? At a party not so long ago, I felt like a stranger in a foreign land, struggling to understand what a fellow guest was saying, but only comprehending every fifth word or so. You can only say, "excuse me" so many times.

If I were going to write a Jeff Foxworthy style book, "You Know You're 40 when...," this would be right up there.

40th Birthday Greetings

2010-02-06T14:27:00.003-05:00

I'm starting a new collection of 40th Birthday cards. Maybe I'll even frame them and put them in my home office. That is, after I get around to creating the home office -- I still have a couple of "to-do's" there.

Here are two that caught my eye this week as I was walking up Madison Avenue.

The 1970 yearbook card that I found in the corner stationery store (I also picked up gold stars and lottery tickets) is a compilation of 1970 trivia. Did you know that the first New York Marathon was held in 1970? How about the cost of a gallon of milk? $1.32. Harvard tuition? $2,400. NPR was founded in 1970. The winning word in the National Spelling Bee? "Croissant." The life expectancy in 1970? 70.8 years (is that if you were born in 1970 or if you were already living in 1970, because I'm planning on living longer than that.) Lastly, the US unemployment rate? 6.1% (All this, again, is according to a greeting card from Seek Publishing.)

I found the other card in Phoebe Cates' shop, Blue Tree - a real treasure trove of finds. On the cover is "40ish", which says it all. That's how old I plan to be for a long, long time.

A Bagpipe Salute to 40

2010-02-05T18:22:00.001-05:00

This was the party I was reluctant to share with you, for fear the birthday girl wouldn't want me to...silly me, it's already been featured here and here.

A few Saturday nights ago, C. invited us to her very elegant 40th birthday party, held at a beautiful mansion on the Upper East Side of New York.

The invites were sent via Paperless Post -- a very elegant evite option. If you haven't seen it yet, the invitation comes out of an "envelope" and lends a bit more formality to an emailed invitation.

The dress was Black Tie - on the way to the party, my husband and I realized that we were both wearing clothes we got for free. He received his tuxedo as a hand-me-down from his mom's former boss(in 8th grade, no less!) and I got my Oscar de la Renta dress when an old boss of mine didn't want it! Let's hear it for former bosses.

We pulled up in a taxi and even the taxi driver was taken back. "Wow," he said. The long covered entrance to the building was aglow in soft blue lighting, and the path was lined with an enormous Pipe Band (bagpipers) - the Saffron United Pipe Band of Babylon, NY, one of the East Coast's finest. It was like a gauntlet - you almost expected to hear your names announced with titles like Lord or Earl added to the front of them.

We headed in the building and up the beautiful circular stairs to the historic ballroom - lit up in red lights, with dozens of votive candles in the fireplace. The DJ kept the tunes coming, the hors d'ouevres kept going and going, and the birthday girl looked fabulous - like Oscars fabulous.

The photographer for the evening was none other than our own wedding photographer, Andrew Bicknell. His photos were amazing (with the exception of the ones of me, which I can only blame on myself for awkwardly tucking my camera case under one armpit and evening bag under the other, while taking photos and looking generally gawky.) His photos are the two top ones above. I'll find one of my geeky-gawky ones and add it.

The birthday girl shared some beautiful words with the crowd (and so did her lovely daughter - a daunting task to speak to 200 adults when you're 8, but she was fantastic!)and danced the night away. It was a fabulous 40th birthday!

Turning-40-Quote #1

2010-02-01T17:11:00.003-05:00

We are always the same age inside. -- Gertrude Stein

Do you agree with that? My mom says she feels exactly the same way inside as she did when she was 25. My grandmother-in-law, the fabulous Sally (who is deserving of her own post) says the same thing. "I feel the same things, think the same things, I don't feel different at all."

I think I agree...but "25" wouldn't be my number. I'd pick "30" as my baseline....what about you? What do you think?

Outrageous 40th Birthday Wish # 1: PEACE

2010-01-27T00:45:00.006-05:00

I went to an extremely elegant and highly original 40th birthday party over the weekend, but I'm waiting to share it with you until I know it's okay with the birthday person.

In the meantime, thought I'd add a new franchise to My Fabulous 40th Birthday: Outrageous 40th Birthday Wishes.

Outrageous 40th Birthday Wish #1: PEACE. Not world peace, although it would be nice. I'm thinking of peace in my own household - two children getting along all day long, with happy smiles, helpful gestures, kind words, gentle play. No tattling, no surreptitious pinching, no whining, no crying, no pouting, no sulking, no complaining, no "it's not fair," no "how come she gets to...." PEACE...just for one whole waking day.

I know. It's outrageous.

40th Birthday: Back to School

2010-01-21T11:14:00.005-05:00

I recently met a great lady on a plane trip, who I am adding to my collection of "people I met on the plane and kept in touch with." We've seen each other once since our initial meeting and it was like seeing an old friend.

She's hard-charging, high-powered, but also really creative and seemingly as into celebrations as I am. She was kind enough to share a great real 40th birthday party with me...now I just have to bug her for the pictures!

Here it is...a Surprise 40th Birthday party for one of her female relatives. The ruse was she and her husband were going to dinner, so she was not all frumped out - she was looking pretty and ready for a night out on the town...when lo and behold, the doorbell rings.

It's her Dad. Dressed in a Bus Driver's uniform. And behind him is a School Bus. Filled with people hanging out of the windows with masks of her own face. They put down the masks and yell, surprise! It's all of her friends and family!

She hops on the bus with her husband, and with her dad at the wheel, off they go! From what I recall, there were a couple of stops along the way including a drive-in-movie-theater that I think they got kicked out of. The final destination was a great local bar, where everyone had a good old time!

How fun. I was thinking it would be a great 40th Birthday surprise for a teacher or someone headed back to school for a degree.

Thought I'd share it with you!

Old Enough to Know Better

2010-01-14T00:07:00.005-05:00

What time is it? 12:20 a.m.

What time do I have to get up? 5:30 a.m.

Why do I do this to myself? What happened to being in bed no later than 10? I watched an Ellen DeGeneres HBO special that had me crying laughing, got all packed up for my trip tomorrow (that gets points for being productive), surfed the Internet.

Go to bed!

Electric Sliding into 40...on a Monday Night

2010-01-12T22:21:00.003-05:00

Last night, we did the unthinkable for people our age: we went out partying on a Monday.

My friend M. was turning 40 and he rented out a downtown lounge, BLVD, for the occasion. "It might be Monday, but we gonna party," said the invitation.

Down we went to Bowery and Spring, worried a bit that my husband's straight-from-work suit might not be cool enough for the scene. No need for concern, as most guests at a 40th birthday party aren't really hipsters - turns out most of them are coming straight from work too.

It was a great time! The drinks were flowing, I saw friends from college that I hadn't seen in ages, we talked about exes and babies and missing teeth (the kids, not ours)and whether we'd rather go to Italy or Paris for our own 40th birthdays. Above all, we couldn't stop complimenting each other: we all agreed we looked better than ever (and that's what's really important.)

M. was in party-mode, having a great time but a bit dazed by all the walks of his life coming together in one room: grammar school, high school, college, graduate school, LA, Brooklyn, family, friends.

His trusty DJ (who played at his wedding too - yes, this is the second post that includes a loyal DJ) got everyone out on the dance floor -- Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind, Stevie Wonder tunes, and my favorite to watch, The Electric Slide. I so wish I could join in with the gang, moving in union, effortlessly. Unfortunately, choreography has landed in the same part of my brain as rules to games, how to do Excel spreadsheets, and reading music. I can't retain it.

It didn't matter. I was happy as could be watching M. and his beautiful wife electric sliding their (I should say "his" or I'll hear it from the Mrs.) way into 40.

Happy Birthday!

No BiFocals...Yet

2010-01-09T11:07:00.004-05:00

Over the past few months my eyes have really been bothering me. I've had a really hard time re-focusing between near and far vision. After looking at my Blackberry for a few minutes, when I looked up, I couldn't see across the street. It made for a disoriented, fuzzy feeling, along with very tired eyes at the end of the day.

I went to the eye doctor at LensCrafters yesterday (I'm a fan of their OneSight Foundation which collects old eyeglasses and distributes them to needy people around the world)and after a full examination, the doctor said...

"Well, you're 39..." It turns out that your muscles get increasingly tired out as you get older and have a harder time switching from near to far vision. But it wasn't time for bi-focals yet. Instead, she gave me a weaker prescription.

The focusing problem seemed better immediately and the weaker prescription hasn't affected the quality of my long-distance vision.

This is a bit of a practical post, but thought it might be helpful for anyone experiencing the same symptoms. Summary: ask your doctor about taking down your prescription.

40 Winks

2010-01-07T17:48:00.002-05:00

Getting back in the swing of things this week after Christmas break has been tough. I have not been getting my 40 winks and as a result, I'm looking every bit the almost-40 year-old.

Why the low-winkage, you may ask? Last night it was late-night cupcake baking for both girls' birthday celebrations at school today. One required 18 cupcakes, the other 22, equaling a grand total of 40 cupcakes. Coincidence?

Also contributing to the dark circles...teaching our 4 year-old to sleep without a pull-up. Last night she made it until about 2 a.m. before seeking refuge from her wet bed...2,3 - that's my worst time to be woken up. I rarely sleep well for the rest of the night.

So now I have the dark circles, a pimple, hair in need of highlights, and I wore camel (color, not hair) today. I don't know if I should ever wear camel - I don't think it does much to perk me up.

Speaking of 40 winks, I'm also trying to break my winking habit. I started winking at the kids over break and now it's hard to stop. I'm worried I'll inappropriately wink at a client in an important meeting.

Maybe a little sleep will solve it all.

New Year's Eve 40th!

2009-12-31T10:01:00.000-05:00

Someone out there must be turning 40 today or tomorrow. What a great opportunity for a New Year's Eve-themed 40th birthday party.

These images are from Country Living, which I'm rather enamored with these days. I'm thinking this New Year's Eve birthday bash could be black-tie casual...something like this:

With the house already decorated for Christmas, decor can be kept to a minimum...but I might add a fabulous vintage-looking banner by the talented Jerusalem Greer (Storia Home at Etsy.com). She can customize anything you want - here's a Merry Christmas banner, but I can easily imagine "Happy Birthday."

Or some party poms (Party Poms shop at Etsy.com)

Lots of great New Year's eve party hats and noisemakers, with a special hat for the birthday girl or boy. And for food...bring on my fancy (but easy) favorites: pigs in blankets, mountains of shrimp with spicy cocktail sauce, filet of beef on bread with horseradish cream, and smoked salmon on pumpernickel bread. Veuve Clicquot champagne...

As the countdown to midnight begins...have a friend at the ready with a fabulous cake fitted with these sparklers from SeaandJae.com (I found mine at ABC Carpet and Home in NYC)...

The countdown ends with a big "Happy Birthday" and...hopefully...someone to kiss!

Happy 40th Birthday, Lisa!

2009-12-15T21:00:00.000-05:00

The first of my college roommates turns 40 today! She has promised My Fabulous 40th Birthday an exclusive interview to tell us what it's like on the other side...I promise to tell all in a future post.

Nudge, nudge, Lisa!

Some of the Most Fascinating People Just Turned 40

2009-12-09T23:55:00.000-05:00

After returning from the Nutcracker at Lincoln Center tonight, I sat down in front of the tube to get me some real culture: Barbara Walters 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009.

The biggest thing that caught my attention in the show was Barbara's new hairdo -- very Pat Benatar. And the second thing that grabbed me: 2 of the year's most fascinating people (according to Barbara Walters) just turned 40.

Brett Favre, who is successfully leading the Minnesota Vikings this season, turned 40 in October, and Tyler Perry, the writer/actor/producer best known for his role as Medea, turned 40 in September. I took this as a good omen that interesting things happen to people when they turn 40.

40. Not just fabulous. Fascinating.

A This is Your Life 40th Birthday Party

2009-12-08T22:00:00.000-05:00

Years ago, I worked with someone who told me about a terrific 40th birthday celebration thrown for her by her husband. It was a trip down memory lane that reminded me of the old 1950s TV show, This is Your Life.

If memory serves me correctly, it went something like this...

She knew she and her husband were going to dinner to celebrate, but the surprises began when a limo pulled up outside her suburban home. Her husband opened the door and inside the limo sat her sister, in from out of town! Surprise!

Out came the champagne...and the blindfold! When the limo stopped, the blindfold came off and they were parked in front of her childhood home. They had arranged in advance with the current owners to take a quick peek at the old homestead, the two sisters looking at where their old room had been, where memories had been made. Back to the limo and the blindfold!

Next stop -- her old high school. And standing in the parking lot? A couple of her best girlfriends from high school!

I'm pretty sure there was one more stop before the final destination...the restaurant to which her husband had said they were headed. She walked in the door and a huge crowd - friends, family, her parents, her kids -- were all assembled to yell, Surprise! This is Your Life!

Never Too Old for Santa

2009-12-05T16:40:00.000-05:00

As you might guess from this blog, I love celebrations and Christmas is a big one for me.

I work near Christmas Central -- nope, not Bethlehem or the North Pole, but Rockefeller Center. Run out for a salad at lunch and you're pulled into a throng of tourists walking too slow, with cameras strapped around their necks and little girls in matching dresses carrying American Girl dolls with more matching dresses. All day long, the jingle of a Salvation Army worker's bell never relents, and if you want to catch a taxi at the end of the day, forget it.

But guess what? I love it!

As I approach my 40th Christmas, I'm as excited by the countdown to Christmas as ever. A little stressed, admittedly, about all that needs to get done between now and then, but as my mom says, "you always get it done." So, no amount of work, travel or responsibilities can get me down. I've got the Christmas spirit.

On Thursday night, I was walking past Radio City Music Hall and as I reached the stage door, it opened! Out came one long, shiny, glittery pair of legs, followed by another (the Rockettes!!!!) and following these two was...Santa!!! I kid you not when I tell you that my heart skipped a beat a little! What a sighting.

Can't wait for my 40th Christmas!

Fab 40 Definition # 42: Forty-tude

2009-12-01T21:38:00.002-05:00

Forty-tude (for-tee-tud)noun: a certain attitude that women (and some men) rarely acquire before their fortieth birthday.

Do you have forty-tude yet? If you find yourself saying any of the following, you might:

- "I don't really give a shit what (you, she, he) think(s)"
- "What are they gonna do? Fire me?"
- "No. I can't be the Benefit chair/bake 12 dozen cupcakes/attend another meeting I don't want to go to/travel 10 hours in holiday traffic to see my in-laws."

Forty-tude is about finally getting your priorities straight and saying, I'm not going to spend one more minute doing things solely because someone else wants me to do them and I feel obligated.

Forty-tude is life, your way...with a few compromises thrown in, but not too many.

Do you have forty-tude? Sometimes? Always? Never?

Thirty-Nine and Thankful

2009-11-30T23:11:00.000-05:00

We were away for Thanksgiving, so I didn't see two of the nicest expressions of thanks until we got back late yesterday.

The first was a jar of homemade cranberry sauce that my almost four year-old made with her class at school. I'm not sure we'll ever eat the cranberry sauce, but that wasn't the best part. Attached with a piece of ribbon was a water-colored card with a note, dictated by my daughter and written by the teacher,

"Dear Mom, Dad, and L.,
I am thankful when Mama goes to the store and buys me popsicles. I love you very much. Love, S."

Next, was a letter addressed to me and my husband, with my seven year-old's name and school address in the upper left hand corner. "Dear Mom, Dad, and S.," began this letter - much longer than her sister's - that expanded upon all the things she's thankful for - from her family, to food, to God.

So, if a three year-old and a seven year-old can take a moment to express their gratitude, so can I.

I am thankful for:

A wonderful husband who is supportive in a very practical way
Two beautiful, kind daughters
Healthy parents who live nearby and are fun to be around
Great relationships with extended family
Good friends
My health
My home
My job
Everyday beauty that feeds my soul
And so, so, so much more...

Fab 40 Definition #14: Howdy Doody Lines

2009-11-24T19:31:00.001-05:00

Howdy Doody Lines How-dee du-dee linz (noun): lines leading from the nose to the outer corner of the mouth that appear so deep that they make the mouth and chin look like a separate entity, much like famed dummy (is that the PC term for this kind of puppet or is it like saying midget instead of little person?), Howdy Doody.

Since I was in my early twenties, I've always regarded Howdy Doody lines as the true giveaway of a woman's age. Women in their twenties don't have Howdy Doody lines - their skin is soft with just the faintest shadow of a line leading from nose to mouth. This is why they're still carded at bars.

Women of a certain age develop Howdy Doody lines -- not just lines, but deep crevices that don't go away...or do they?

The medical term for Howdy Doody lines is the nasal labial folds. Everyone has them, but when they start looking like permanent parentheses, you Google what they're really called and what you could do about them. It turns out...a lot.

So far, I'm too chicken to do anything that involves injecting botulism into my body, sloughing off my skin with chemicals that leave me red and raw, or buying a cream that costs over $100 for a few ounces. But I'm not saying never.

Until that day comes, lines add a little character; that Howdy Doody was quite a character, right?

(Photo credit: from www.fiftiesweb.com)

Julia's Fab 40th

2009-11-23T17:41:00.000-05:00

If you build it, they will come. On Saturday I attended my first 40th birthday party since launching this blog...and...it was fabulous.

As we headed out the door on Saturday night, I warned our babysitter (again) that this could be a late night. "Are you going to boogie?" she teased us. Clearly she had taken a peek at the beautiful, yet simple, letterpress invitation that asked guests to join the birthday girl for dinner and a chance to "boogie down."

The birthday girl was our friend, Julia, who looked just lovely. You know when you're just really happy, you have that glow about you? That's how she looked. Not one to seek the limelight, she gracefully accepted a little extra attention, although she drew the line on gifts -- "no presents" it said on the invitation. (It's a classy touch, but for the record, I think it would be just fine to accept presents.)

The party was held at Momofuku Ssam Bar - a small downtown hot spot that was closed for the evening just for Julia's bash. (I just learned from Momofuku's website that ssam means anything encircled or wrapped.) We had a blast - guests were squeezed in tight at a handful of tables, as well as at the long narrow two-sided bar, where my husband and I sat about four seats away from one another. We were all seated with place cards, which is always kind of fun. It forces you out of your comfort zone to meet a new friend or two.

Julia's husband kicked off the evening by toasting the woman of the hour, who he declared "hot." Isn't that what we all want to hear from our husbands at 40 and forever? Julia stood and thanked everyone for coming as well. As I mentioned, she's not a limelight seeker, and characteristically, she took the opportunity to share the attention with shout-outs to others turning 40, and 40 year-olds doing fabulous things like running their first marathons or half-marathons. It's nice to include everyone in the kudos.

Remember when Diddy's party planner said his party was going to be "more experiential than spectacle...but still spectacular?" (See Friday's post). I think I finally know what that means!! The experience of this evening was an 8 course menu - cured hamachi, scallops, country ham, pork belly, seasonal pickles, and the piece de resistance -- the whole butt (translation - an entire pork rump that pulls apart and you wrap into bib lettuce with a variety of sauces...and oysters, if you like!) Everything was shared and passed family style, which I think always brings guests together in a more intimate way. The meal was an experience, but it was nothing short of spectacular.

Keeping it humming all night long was DJ Mr. Blue - an awesome deejay who had played at Julia's wedding (I didn't know her back then; we met when the kids were in nursery school together) and he really got the crowd going. By course #7, most people were on their feet...boogying, as promised. Some were smart enough to bring their dancing shoes!

As it hit 1:30, even though I'd warned our babysitter it would be a late night, I thought it best to hit the road. We got our coats and said goodbye, but not without one last dance with the birthday girl. I can't remember what the song was - maybe "It Takes Two to Make a Thing Go Right," but the dance, like the party, like Julia, was fabulous!!

Diddy's 40th Birthday at The Plaza

2009-11-20T08:12:00.000-05:00

According to party planner Bronson Van Wyck (as quoted in W magazine), the mood of Diddy's 40th Birthday bash would be more sensual than overtly sexual, and more experiential than spectacle...although it would still be spectacular. What does that mean???

The party happened last night at the newly renovated Plaza Hotel in NYC and aside from the Wire Image photos here, I can't find much about it on the web. Perhaps all the coverage of this "news" story has been promised away in exclusives to Access Hollywood and the like. From the pictures it looks like Kim Kardashian was there with her mother Kris. Nelly and Martha Stewart made appearances. And it appears that Al Green performed. I like Al Green, but overall, I don't think we missed much.

Diddy's party was sponsored by Ciroc Vodka, Diddy's own line of vodka. Imagine if the rest of us had our birthday parties sponsored by someone? I suppose it would be a product or service that I use often and represent well...

It could be Trafalgar Dry Cleaners, Zorba Pizzeria, or the local nail place, Dolce, but probably the best sponsor for my 40th birthday would be Marshall's/Home Goods...Marshall's/Home Goods presents KC's 40th Birthday.

Who would be the most likely sponsor of your birthday party?

Nice Shout Out from Turning40.net

2009-11-18T15:15:00.001-05:00

Turning40.net has a feature from My Fabulous 40th Birthday on its home page right now! Click here to see.

Fab 40 Definition #1: Pfeifferize

2009-11-16T21:22:00.002-05:00

Pfeifferize fi-fer-ize (verb): 1. The act of getting increasingly better looking with age, like Michelle Pfeiffer.

The best possible benefit of turning 40 is Pfeifferizing. It doesn't happen to everyone, but you'll know it's happening to you if your once round face starts to give way to cheekbones -- sultry, sophisticated cheekbones. If your eyes sparkle with a little more confidence...you're probably Pfeifferizing.

Check out this then and now of Michelle Pfeiffer here.

Other well-known people who have Pfeifferized include Katie Couric, Sela Ward, Tom Cruise, George Clooney. Even Oprah has Pfeifferized.

It's the luck of the draw, those who Pfeifferize and those who don't. For those who do, it makes for a Pfabulous Pfortieth.

*photo from InStyle.com

40: Capture the Moment

2009-11-14T15:01:00.001-05:00

Who are you...right now? Cindy over at Serious Play captured a moment in time with this cool memento. She keeps it simple, with three lists of what she always, sometimes, and never does at 40.

If I had to name a few...

I always: Have a cough, Enjoy planning celebrations, Wish I could be more patient with the girls, Talk to my mom a couple of times a week, Like going to Anthropologie for inspiration, Have "date night" every Thursday.

I sometimes: Walk to the beach on the weekend, Find great deals at Marshall's/Home Goods, Like playing Apples to Apples or Scrabble with the kids, Watch Brothers & Sisters, but am annoyed that it is getting too over-the-top.

I never: Keep up with my own doctors' appointments, Can find my Metro Card when I need to take the bus in a hurry or in the rain, Like it when the kids scream, even when they're having fun.

Twenty or forty years from now, a little time capsule like this will be fun to look at...what would yours say now? Is it different than it would have been at 30? At 20?

http://seriousplay.typepad.com/cinback/right-now/

The 4-oh! Becomes 4-ah!: Spa Party

2009-11-12T22:35:00.001-05:00

Around this time two years ago, I got a late night call from my friend, L. Now, I'm not a late night phone call kind of person; if the phone rings past 9:30, or truthfully, some nights past 7:30, I do not feel like talking. But boy, was I glad I took this call...

L. was inviting me to join her and two other friends for an entire week at Cal-a-Vie spa to celebrate her 40th birthday...her treat. She knew it was a lot to ask, she said, but could I possibly leave work and two little kids and freezing cold New York for a week? How fast would you say yes, yes, yes!?

In late January, I flew to San Diego. Along the way, I be-friended a really nice woman, Meg, who was wedged next to a couple with a brand new baby...I had an empty seat next to me and invited her to take it. It turned out that we knew a bunch of people in common (namely my mother) and she was also going on a birthday spa trip (at a different spa) being hosted by a friend. We had a blast chatting away and helping each other with bawdy poems we were writing for our respective birthday girls. I was already feeling very carefree and relaxed and I wasn't even at the spa yet!

Meg and I parted ways and I hopped in the car to Cal-a-Vie, where I met up with L. and the two other lucky ducks there to help her celebrate. We were each friends with L., but didn't know each other well at all. By that evening, as we consumed our spa contraband - L.'s favorite champagne and chocolate in the shape of "40" from the fabulous Lilac candy store, read toasts and poems, and gave little gifts to our hostess, I felt like I had known all three women forever.

Here was our routine:

Morning:
We all had our own beautiful rooms and woke up around 6 every morning for a hike around the grounds. After trying this the first morning, this proved too hilly, fast, and strenuous for me, so from there on out, I joined the older ladies at Cal-a-Vie for some speed-walking around the local golf course.

Next: Healthy breakfast with the rest of the people staying for the week, about 30 of us in total. We had heard that many celebrities go to Cal-a-Vie, but there were none there that week. The group dynamic and general environment was one part reality show, one part summer camp, and one part rehab.

In the morning, you attended three fitness classes, with a little break in between for some hot vegetable juice and carrot sticks. You'd think that would run right through you or at least give you a major cramp as you're trying to Zumba or maneuver giant hula hoops, but it actually does not.

Afternoon:

After lunch, it's a COMPLETE AFTERNOON OF SPA TREATMENTS - SOMETHING LIKE A TOTAL OF 17 TREATMENTS OVER THE COURSE OF THE WEEK. You're never sore from all the exercise because you're constantly massaged. It was pure heaven!

Evening:

Evenings begin with hors d'ouevre -- singular, not plural, because there is only one for each person. Dinner was again, healthy - who knew you could make chocolate pudding out of Tofu and cocoa powder? And the seat jockeying rivaled any middle school cafeteria at lunchtime. The four of us liked to stick together, and we liked sitting with the two friends from Texas or the unlikely sisters or the mother-college-aged daughter duo. We didn't like sitting with the pessimistic Brit who was apparently quite a success at work, but wasn't impressing anyone at Cal-a-vie.

Sometimes we tried to watch a movie, but mostly, we tumbled into bed early...and started all over again the next day. We did this for seven days until the final day, when they weighed and measured us (they had done this when we checked in.) Somehow, surprisingly given the fact that the girls had given me the chocolate "40" and I'd gnawed off a little bit of it each night, I lost 2 1/2 pounds and 8 inches, but (here comes the corny part) I gained so much -- new friends, a lot of laughs with my good friend L., a renewed interest in getting in shape and eating healthy, and a great mental break away from it all.

Cal-a-vie is top notch and this was an over-the-top experience, but regardless of the budget, I highly recommend a 40th Spa Weekend!!

photos above - Life.com, Cal-a-Vie.com

Things I Want to Do Before I'm 40

2009-11-11T22:15:00.000-05:00

When it comes to some of the usual "by the time, I'm 40, I want ______," I'm pretty content. Marriage, kids, family & friends, career, home - it's all there and I'm grateful.

There's not a thing that I think of and say to myself, I thought I would have done that by now. Over lunch with a friend a few weeks ago, I was shocked to hear her say that 40 was tough because she thought she would have accomplished so much more. This was coming from one of the most accomplished women I know!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am planning to be around for a long time, leaving me many decades to accomplish all the things on my list: writing a novel, learning calligraphy, taking up Spanish, finally putting together baby books for the kids, filling out an A-cup.

Now more than ever, there's no deadline for accomplishing things - plenty of really successful people didn't get their careers cooking until after 40 (Julia Child quite literally!), love is often there when you least expect it (my husband's grandfather fell deeply, madly in love in his nineties), there are so many friendships yet to forge, and babies are entering women's(and men's)lives in all different decades.

But I'm goal-oriented; I can't help it, so there are a couple of things I'm determined to do in the next year, which will make my 40th a bit more satisfying:

1. Visit Aunt Junie and Uncle Walter. Aunt Junie is my beloved grandmother's best friend. My grandmother died 11 years ago and that's the last time I saw Aunt Junie. Aunt Junie always remembers me and my kids with birthday cards, addressed with her perfect "Palmer method" handwriting and sometimes filled with a handful of confetti. On this last birthday, she included a photo of herself and Uncle Walter on their 65th Wedding Anniversary. They look so sweet -- I'll have to scan it and add it to this post -- and I'm determined to do the trains/planes/automobiles trip to see them in their remote little town in Upstate New York.

2. Get Heart Healthy. I am not in shape and have never been in shape, so it's time to do something about it. I recently joined the New York Road Runners club and am taking a beginning runners class. The goal is to be able to run 20 minutes non-stop by the end of the 10 week course. Something every 40 year-old should be able to do.

3. Pull the Apartment Together. As much as I loved college, I don't want to live like I'm in college. It's not that bad, but it could be a little nicer.

Three things. That's do-able. What about you? Anything on your list?

Happy 40th Birthday Sesame Street

2009-11-10T18:49:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned last week, Sesame Street turns 40 today! I didn't get a chance to see it (we've moved on, perhaps prematurely, to Sponge Bob) but I understand that Michelle Obama appeared on the show today to kick off the new season. That's a pretty significant way to celebrate the big 4-oh!

I can remember watching Sesame Street in the early 1970s and liking Ernie and Bert, Grover - as Super Grover! and the waiter, and Mr. Hooper. I always found it annoying that people didn't believe Big Bird that Snuffleupagus was real - it wasn't until 1985 that the grown-ups finally met him!

Which are your favorite characters?

Hanging Ten on Your Fortieth

2009-11-09T10:01:00.000-05:00

Well, so far the road to 40 has been paved with Kleenex and cough drops.

Everyone I know seems to have gotten some version of "the cough." This is the cough that lasts for weeks and weeks and weeks...I now think I've cracked a rib from coughing so hard. I'm hobbling around, afraid to cough, because I know it's going to hurt like heck...

As a distraction, I'm thinking about possible 40th birthday trips that I could take with my college friends. One idea we talked about was Surf School, where we'd take on a physical and(for some of us,okay, me)psychological challenge. I started to browse some possibilities today. This link from www.girlgetaways.com/articles/2008/fall/surf_camps_101 lists five fantastic ones worth checking out, at the very least for inspiration.

But if your birthday budget doesn't allow for a trip to Bali, you can still pull off a Surf School Celebration. Surf lessons are available up and down both coasts, so you could easily do this on a weekend, putting together a morning group lesson with lunch, manicures/pedicures, a festive dinner, and a stay at a local hotel. Stay at a really nice hotel and I'm sure their concierge could arrange it all.

What do you think? Is this something you'd want to do to celebrate your 40th?

This Takes the Cake

2009-11-06T19:25:00.000-05:00

A milestone birthday is a great time to do something you've always wanted to do.

For my friend (who happens to be my sister's mother-in-law) Carole, that something was a life-long desire to jump out of a cake!

She didn't do it for her 40th birthday - back then, she was probably too busy raising seven kids, but last month she turned 75 and it was time!

Dressed in a tutu and tassles, and surrounded by her kids, grandkids, great-grandkids and friends, Carole finally got the chance to jump out of a cake. It might not have been her 40th, but it sure was fabulous!

Even Inanimate Objects Celebrate Their 40th Birthdays

2009-11-05T10:34:00.000-05:00

The Internet turned 40 last week, Sesame Street turns 40 next week...heck, even the Big Mac celebrated the whopper of all birthdays a few years back.

If inanimate objects can have a fabulous 40th birthday, well, so can you.

I wonder if anyone has ever had their 40th birthday party at McDonald's. That would be kind of fun if you could rent one out -- I wonder if the franchise contract would allow a franchisee to do that...and serve alcohol. Otherwise, forget it.

40 Years of Television

2009-10-30T19:32:00.000-04:00

Just around this time last year, my most creative friend, L., threw a 40th birthday bash for her husband - a costume party with a twist.

The invitation looked like the striped TV screen you used to see during "this is a test of the emergency broadcast system." Guests were invited to celebrate her husband's two favorite things - his friends and television -- and to please come dressed as their favorite television character from the past 40 years!

The party was held at The Museum of the Moving Image, amidst tons of television memorabilia. Specialty cocktails -- "the Isaac Washington," "the CJ Cregg" and the like -- were served by waiters upon arrival. Hors d'ouevres were served on lucite trays with tiny figurines of famous TV characters like Herman Munster and Marcia Brady perched in the corner. Everyone was invited to use the museum's "make-your-own-flip-book" exhibit, with flip books delivered during dinner. Dinner itself was TV dinner comfort food, and the table featured fantastic TV character bobbleheads doubling as decor and favors.

And the costumes! We went to Ricky's costume shop the day AFTER Halloween and were lucky to find anything at all - the place was a disaster. But we walked away with Batman and Robin costumes. I liked mine, but my husband found the Batman costume a bit uncomfortable ("like wearing a thong.") Costumes included Laverne and Shirley, Lou Grant and Mary Richards, Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, the cast of MASH, Christopher and Adrianna, and my absolute favorite -- Two Wild and Crazy Guys from Saturday Night Live.

It was a fabulous 40th birthday!

39th Birthday at Sweetiepie

2009-10-29T09:54:00.000-04:00

Last night, we had a sweet celebration at Sweetiepie (http://www.sweetiepierestaurant.com/). This is a wonderful, fanciful restaurant that opened in Greenwich Village late last year. It's the perfect place for kids and grown-ups to enjoy together. We sat in the birdcage (see the picture below), complete with a candelabra and crayons in a silver dish for the girls. I'm not sure there's anyplace else that you can enjoy a glass of champagne and a ladies' lunch-type of salad while the kids enjoy spaghetti & meatballs or a hamburger, both of which got the nod from my picky crew. And of course, we all saved room for what Sweetiepie does best...dessert!

This would be a terrific spot for a 40th birthday party! You can have a private party for 40 in the back room, or use the whole space for a cocktail party for 100. A real gem.

(All photos from Sweetiepie's website)

12 Months to the big 4-oh!

2009-10-28T09:38:00.000-04:00

Today is my 39th birthday - and with the exception of being on week six of a cough/cold combo and stubbing my toe rather spectacularly this morning -- I couldn't be happier.

Facebook http://www.facebook.com definitely makes for better birthdays. By 9 o'clock this morning I had at least forty fabulous birthday wishes. I love it!

I also decided to take the day off -- I did it last year too and I've gotta tell you it beats cupcakes in the conference room, hands down. Not that I didn't appreciate the cupcakes, it's just so forced - "um, could you come into the conference room? Mary needs you for a minute..." "Surprise!" (although for the person reading this who gave me cupcakes yesterday, you did it in a very laid back way and I loved it.)

It's a rainy day, my favorite kind for staying home and puttering. I don't know about you, but I find that I am rarely alone in my own home...and I'm so happy! I'm hoping to finally recover from this cough/cold.

I had a dream last night that my college friends and I went to Greece for our collective 40th birthdays. I was standing on a chaise lounge yelling, "I love Greece!" when a piece of feta cheese slipped out of my hands into the pool. Dreams are weird, but telling. My friends and I are trying to decide on a trip to celebrate our birthdays together. Have any great ideas?

Coming Soon!

2009-09-10T11:10:00.000-04:00

Stay tuned for the launch of My Fabulous 40th Birthday...October 28, 2009!